The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
