I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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