I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
