When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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