okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
