i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
