So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
