White coat. Heels.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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