sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
