Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
