My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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