Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
