ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
