Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
