I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
