some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Operation Purity has been aborted
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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