If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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