after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
