Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize