found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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