She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
