You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize