im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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