Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
