That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
