Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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