playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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