White coat. Heels.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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