Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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