i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
