I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
