At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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