we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
