Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
