i was born a porn star she said
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize