U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
