I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
