You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
