fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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