I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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