he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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