So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
