he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
