i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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