i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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