We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize