i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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