she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
