I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize