I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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