It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Redeem this text for a blowjob
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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