it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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