David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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