do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
