The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
