Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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