we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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