It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Welp...herpes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
